Outside we hear songbirds a-chirping.
In the bedroom you're sucking and slurping.
What will naturally follow,
When I come and you swallow,
Is the satisfied sound of your burping.
Limericks and erotic fiction. Fantasy and fun for the connoisseur of fine erotica... and just plain silly horny humor.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Money Bag
I love spending time with dear Jenny.
The ways she delights me are many.
For our hot interlude,
I bring, in gratitude,
A bag filled with 30,000 pennies.
The ways she delights me are many.
For our hot interlude,
I bring, in gratitude,
A bag filled with 30,000 pennies.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Pickle
Jenny's date's dick, soft like an old pickle.
But when sweet Jenny gives it a lick, he'll
Find his dormant cucumber
Will awake from its slumber.
As her nails give his plum sack a tickle.
From the Date Series.
But when sweet Jenny gives it a lick, he'll
Find his dormant cucumber
Will awake from its slumber.
As her nails give his plum sack a tickle.
From the Date Series.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Reading Aloud
A rhyme to darling Jenny I voiced.
So romantic it rendered her moist.
As I lovingly faced her,
My mouth hungered to taste her.
Soon in ecstacy we both rejoiced.
So romantic it rendered her moist.
As I lovingly faced her,
My mouth hungered to taste her.
Soon in ecstacy we both rejoiced.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Writer's Interruptus
Lying here, writing poems about you.
Then my dick rises up into view.
He knows you're his best friend.
He's too hard, just won't bend.
Now imagine what I'm going to do...
Then my dick rises up into view.
He knows you're his best friend.
He's too hard, just won't bend.
Now imagine what I'm going to do...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Silver Glitter
Jenny's nails with silver glitter were tipped.
The first time I saw them I flipped.
They brightly sparkled and shone,
Which quickly stiffened my bone.
"Please stroke me," I begged, and unzipped.
From the Nails Series.
The first time I saw them I flipped.
They brightly sparkled and shone,
Which quickly stiffened my bone.
"Please stroke me," I begged, and unzipped.
From the Nails Series.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Condiment
Jenny whipped up a snack in her kitchen.
For the taste of my cum she was itchin'.
She stroked me with her hand, which
Made me come on her sandwich.
As she ate, she said, "Glad you could pitch in!"
For the taste of my cum she was itchin'.
She stroked me with her hand, which
Made me come on her sandwich.
As she ate, she said, "Glad you could pitch in!"
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Professional Help
At home there was sexual resistance.
So I sought out professional assistance.
Though at first I was nervous,
Jenny gave such great service.
She's by far the best girl in existence.
So I sought out professional assistance.
Though at first I was nervous,
Jenny gave such great service.
She's by far the best girl in existence.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Locality
They say to "Think global, not local."
But when Jenny's pleasure becomes vocal,
There's just one lovely spot,
Her delectable twat,
Upon which my attention is focal.
But when Jenny's pleasure becomes vocal,
There's just one lovely spot,
Her delectable twat,
Upon which my attention is focal.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Hoboken
Jenny's date is in town from Hoboken.
He is sure that his poor dick is broken.
But... it gets hard when she licks it.
"See, I knew I could fix it!"
Truer words had never been spoken.
From the Date Series.
He is sure that his poor dick is broken.
But... it gets hard when she licks it.
"See, I knew I could fix it!"
Truer words had never been spoken.
From the Date Series.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Efficiency
Dear Jenny should put in a conveyor.
To efficiently serve those who pay her.
As each guy arrived, quick,
She could suck on his dick.
Pausing long enough so he could lay her.
To efficiently serve those who pay her.
As each guy arrived, quick,
She could suck on his dick.
Pausing long enough so he could lay her.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Deep
She takes me in her mouth all the way.
I just want to stay there the whole day.
That feeling's exquisite,
Each time that I visit.
I'm so happy that we get to play.
I just want to stay there the whole day.
That feeling's exquisite,
Each time that I visit.
I'm so happy that we get to play.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Blood Red
Jenny's nails are as red as fresh blood.
Gentle strokes make me feel quite the stud.
Sleek with lube, sexy talk,
Her fond praise for my cock.
Smiling; cum pouring forth in a flood.
From the Nails Series.
Gentle strokes make me feel quite the stud.
Sleek with lube, sexy talk,
Her fond praise for my cock.
Smiling; cum pouring forth in a flood.
From the Nails Series.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Forest
If Jenny was lost in the forest,
Her cries out for "Help!" would implore us.
And like a good scout,
I would seek her out.
So then I could lick her clitoris.
Her cries out for "Help!" would implore us.
And like a good scout,
I would seek her out.
So then I could lick her clitoris.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Frottage
Standing with dear Jenny at Robeks.
I can't help my stiff penile reflex.
When back against me she leans,
Feels the hard bulge in my jeans.
She takes me swiftly home to have sex.
I can't help my stiff penile reflex.
When back against me she leans,
Feels the hard bulge in my jeans.
She takes me swiftly home to have sex.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Genius
Jenny's date had a sky-high I.Q.
Honor student, and in Mensa too.
While entertaining this genius,
She sucked on his penis.
And his sperm made her much smarter too.
From the Date Series.
Honor student, and in Mensa too.
While entertaining this genius,
She sucked on his penis.
And his sperm made her much smarter too.
From the Date Series.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Awakened
This morning - a surprise in my bed:
Not my wife, but dear Jenny instead.
She said she had missed me.
Closed her eyes, sweetly kissed me.
Then we enjoyed simultaneous head.
Not my wife, but dear Jenny instead.
She said she had missed me.
Closed her eyes, sweetly kissed me.
Then we enjoyed simultaneous head.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
All New
It feels to me like sex is brand new.
For that pleasure I have to thank you.
Everything's so exciting,
And you're so damned inviting.
Now I wonder what else we can do!
For that pleasure I have to thank you.
Everything's so exciting,
And you're so damned inviting.
Now I wonder what else we can do!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Golden
Jenny's nails are now shiny and golden.
It's the new fashion trend; not an old one.
Jenny would never settle
For a less-precious metal.
I just wish it was my cock she was holdin'.
From the Nails Series.
It's the new fashion trend; not an old one.
Jenny would never settle
For a less-precious metal.
I just wish it was my cock she was holdin'.
From the Nails Series.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Breast Intentions
My decorum goes right down the tubes
When I think of your marvelous boobs.
I feel incredibly blessed
When I'm kissing your breast.
Let's forgo all the condoms and lubes.
When I think of your marvelous boobs.
I feel incredibly blessed
When I'm kissing your breast.
Let's forgo all the condoms and lubes.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Dental Benefits
Is Jenny aware that my cum's
Beneficial for her teeth and gums?
To keep her smile bright,
She should blow me each night.
Fill her mouth with the juice of my plums.
Beneficial for her teeth and gums?
To keep her smile bright,
She should blow me each night.
Fill her mouth with the juice of my plums.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Deutsch Treat
Jenny's date was a charming old German.
Couldn't manage to slip his soft worm in.
But that didn't bother,
This kindly grandfather.
His skilled tongue had fräulein Jenny squirmin'.
From the Date Series.
Couldn't manage to slip his soft worm in.
But that didn't bother,
This kindly grandfather.
His skilled tongue had fräulein Jenny squirmin'.
From the Date Series.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Businesswoman
That Jenny's an entrepreneur.
She's very successful, I'm sure.
The pleasures she offers,
Are filling her coffers.
Her future is very secure.
She's very successful, I'm sure.
The pleasures she offers,
Are filling her coffers.
Her future is very secure.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Unceasing
Want to have sex with you 'till I drop.
We'll go twenty-four hours non-stop.
On our endurance mission
We'll try every position.
Let's see how many times I can pop.
We'll go twenty-four hours non-stop.
On our endurance mission
We'll try every position.
Let's see how many times I can pop.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Remembering
With smooth pink nails, Jenny's teasing his balls.
It's so hot he is climbing the walls.
This exquisite sensation,
Will prompt masturbation,
When he is all alone and recalls.
From the Nails Series.
It's so hot he is climbing the walls.
This exquisite sensation,
Will prompt masturbation,
When he is all alone and recalls.
From the Nails Series.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Inflation
I won't jerk off for several weeks.
Disregard my libidinous peaks.
When I see Jenny, of course,
I will come with such force,
It will certainly puff out her cheeks.
Disregard my libidinous peaks.
When I see Jenny, of course,
I will come with such force,
It will certainly puff out her cheeks.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Sacrifices
For you I would eat broken glass.
Take a big dildo right up my ass.
One arm I would remove,
If it took that to prove:
My love for you no one can surpass.
Take a big dildo right up my ass.
One arm I would remove,
If it took that to prove:
My love for you no one can surpass.
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