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Limericks and erotic fiction. Fantasy and fun for the connoisseur of fine erotica... and just plain silly horny humor.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Moved to tumblr!
Find the new Lusty Limericks blog on tumblr. A new naughty rhyme every day, most with salacious illustrations.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Lonely Lila
Lila waits, with a faraway stare.
When she picks up the phone, no one's there.
Lila's put on some weight...
Her one regular date
Is each morning when she fucks this chair.
When she picks up the phone, no one's there.
Lila's put on some weight...
Her one regular date
Is each morning when she fucks this chair.
Monday, July 30, 2012
AutoCum
Thinking of you I get so excited,
Even sitting alone, sparks ignited.
My cock springs into action,
And I get satisfaction,
Even though no one else was invited.
Even sitting alone, sparks ignited.
My cock springs into action,
And I get satisfaction,
Even though no one else was invited.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Tantalizing Tease
I would all my possessions bequeath,
Crown your head with a fresh floral wreath:
Show me your dazzling smile,
Every once in a while,
Gently tantalize me with your teeth.
Crown your head with a fresh floral wreath:
Show me your dazzling smile,
Every once in a while,
Gently tantalize me with your teeth.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
The Son
Jenny's date was convinced he was Jesus.
King of Kings, dropped his robe and said "Please Us."
Her expert licking and humming,
Brought about The Second Coming.
"Hope My Father forgives when he sees us."
From the Date Series.
King of Kings, dropped his robe and said "Please Us."
Her expert licking and humming,
Brought about The Second Coming.
"Hope My Father forgives when he sees us."
From the Date Series.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Unmistakable Cue
It seems Jenny enjoys when I lick her.
There is nothing that makes her come quicker.
When she cries, "Now! Now! Now!"
I give my solemn vow:
I'm delighted that Fate made me pick her.
There is nothing that makes her come quicker.
When she cries, "Now! Now! Now!"
I give my solemn vow:
I'm delighted that Fate made me pick her.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Patriotic
Jenny's date was deeply patriotic.
His philosophy, though, was Quixotic.
For her, too right-wing,
But for one special thing:
His big flag pole she found quite erotic.
From the Date Series.
His philosophy, though, was Quixotic.
For her, too right-wing,
But for one special thing:
His big flag pole she found quite erotic.
From the Date Series.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Twice
I aspire to reach climax twice daily.
This intent has become Holy Grail-y.
The way I have it planned:
In the morning, by hand.
And at night, with a woman - or gaily.
This intent has become Holy Grail-y.
The way I have it planned:
In the morning, by hand.
And at night, with a woman - or gaily.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Early to Rise
This morning I am up very early.
Missing you, dear, has made my mood surly.
Loving you beyond belief.
Just one thing brings relief:
To kiss you where your hair's short and curly.
Missing you, dear, has made my mood surly.
Loving you beyond belief.
Just one thing brings relief:
To kiss you where your hair's short and curly.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Dunce
Jenny's date only played with her once.
He was used to much skankier cunts.
He did nothing but gripe:
"You are just not my type."
Jenny's fans all think he's quite a dunce.
From the Date Series.
He was used to much skankier cunts.
He did nothing but gripe:
"You are just not my type."
Jenny's fans all think he's quite a dunce.
From the Date Series.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Responsibility
If you knew how rock hard I became.
And know you are the one that's to blame.
You'd say, "Dear, I believe you.
Come here, let me relieve you,"
Very soon I would scream out your name.
And know you are the one that's to blame.
You'd say, "Dear, I believe you.
Come here, let me relieve you,"
Very soon I would scream out your name.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Twice
I aspire to reach climax twice daily.
This intent has become Holy Grail-y.
The way I have it planned:
In the morning, by hand.
And at night, with a woman - or gaily.
This intent has become Holy Grail-y.
The way I have it planned:
In the morning, by hand.
And at night, with a woman - or gaily.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Champagne with a Twist
"Champagne Cocktail" was Jenny's request.
The waitress - brand new - did her best.
I found it expedient
To add my own ingredient.
Jenny loved it! To that I'll attest.
The waitress - brand new - did her best.
I found it expedient
To add my own ingredient.
Jenny loved it! To that I'll attest.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Gourdian Knot
He jerked off so much that he was bored.
Jenny's pleasures he could not afford.
This poor country bumpkin
Would not buy a pumpkin...
He resorted to fucking a gourd.
Jenny's pleasures he could not afford.
This poor country bumpkin
Would not buy a pumpkin...
He resorted to fucking a gourd.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Friday, July 6, 2012
Farmer
Jenny's date had a country boy's heart,
And a flair for the bucolic art.
Working hard on the farm,
His dick's long as her arm.
So he drives it around on this cart.
From the Date Series.
And a flair for the bucolic art.
Working hard on the farm,
His dick's long as her arm.
So he drives it around on this cart.
From the Date Series.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Regal Reaction
Jenny played with the King, Sweden's ruler.
Incognito, but he couldn't fool her.
Her joy his tongue provoked,
But the bedsheets got soaked.
It turns out the old King's quite a drooler.
Incognito, but he couldn't fool her.
Her joy his tongue provoked,
But the bedsheets got soaked.
It turns out the old King's quite a drooler.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Fjord Focus
Of the grandeur that Norway affords,
Most spectacular are the Fjords.
Jenny found them quite striking,
And as much to her liking
As when her lovers duel with their swords.
Most spectacular are the Fjords.
Jenny found them quite striking,
And as much to her liking
As when her lovers duel with their swords.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
The Milky Way
Jenny's skin: white as snow, soft as silk.
She's top-rated among girls of her ilk.
On her bed I am kneeling,
As she strokes, what a feeling!
Soon I spatter her breasts with my milk.
She's top-rated among girls of her ilk.
On her bed I am kneeling,
As she strokes, what a feeling!
Soon I spatter her breasts with my milk.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Jean Reaction
Jenny bought me a new pair of jeans.
Lovely gift from this woman of means.
When she fondled my cock, it
Stuck out of my pocket.
Prompting one of our sexiest scenes.
Lovely gift from this woman of means.
When she fondled my cock, it
Stuck out of my pocket.
Prompting one of our sexiest scenes.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Saved Up
Jenny's date confessed to her, through tears.
"I've been saving up for all these years."
She thought that he meant money...
Then he came - it was funny -
From her twat to her tits to her ears.
From the Date Series.
"I've been saving up for all these years."
She thought that he meant money...
Then he came - it was funny -
From her twat to her tits to her ears.
From the Date Series.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Clean and Smooth
For six weeks now I scrimped and I saved.
Bribing Jenny to be cleanly shaved.
With her fresh manicure,
Touching holds such allure.
It's a feeling I've forever craved.
From the Nails Series.
Bribing Jenny to be cleanly shaved.
With her fresh manicure,
Touching holds such allure.
It's a feeling I've forever craved.
From the Nails Series.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Love on the Court
At our mansion we love playing tennis.
Her strong backhand makes Jenny a menace.
She beats me on the court,
But I'm pleased to report,
That I win when she sucks my big pennis!
Her strong backhand makes Jenny a menace.
She beats me on the court,
But I'm pleased to report,
That I win when she sucks my big pennis!
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
Beatnik
Jenny's beatnik date called himself "Daddy-O."
She made him smoke his weed on the patio.
In his honor, she's bra-less;
Her big boobs still look flawless.
Jenny loved giving him cool fellatio.
From the Date Series.
She made him smoke his weed on the patio.
In his honor, she's bra-less;
Her big boobs still look flawless.
Jenny loved giving him cool fellatio.
From the Date Series.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Commitment
It's a certainty: each guy that calls for you,
Once he samples your charms, then he falls for you.
Now my unrivaled passion
Makes me ask in this fashion:
So does anyone else shave his balls for you?
Once he samples your charms, then he falls for you.
Now my unrivaled passion
Makes me ask in this fashion:
So does anyone else shave his balls for you?
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Constrained
Circumstances just now might constrain me,
Only you can know how that does pain me.
You set my soul on fire...
Charged with lust and desire.
See? My boxers can hardly contain me.
Only you can know how that does pain me.
You set my soul on fire...
Charged with lust and desire.
See? My boxers can hardly contain me.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Seeing It Through
Jenny's date was a sad, single parent.
Lonely and horny, both traits inherent.
He showed Jenny this pic,
Which displays his big dick,
And his gal-friend: though she's quite transparent.
From the Date Series.
Lonely and horny, both traits inherent.
He showed Jenny this pic,
Which displays his big dick,
And his gal-friend: though she's quite transparent.
From the Date Series.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Windowsill
As we stood by the window to talk,
Jenny couldn't help stroking my cock.
Posing there, by the sill,
She gave me such a thrill.
I'm sure they heard me yell down the block.
Jenny couldn't help stroking my cock.
Posing there, by the sill,
She gave me such a thrill.
I'm sure they heard me yell down the block.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Reciprocation
Darling Jenny, my precious, my sweet,
Being with you's a wonderful treat.
We'll lie in your bed,
And while you give me head,
Your delectable pussy I'll eat.
Being with you's a wonderful treat.
We'll lie in your bed,
And while you give me head,
Your delectable pussy I'll eat.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Aggressive
Her lust drove her to this aggression,
Treating him like he was her possession.
He feared he might be raped.
Look: his dick has escaped!
Just the start of a hot fucking session.
Treating him like he was her possession.
He feared he might be raped.
Look: his dick has escaped!
Just the start of a hot fucking session.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Holy Cummunion
Sister Jenny was kneeling for prayer,
When the priest sought a sexy affair.
While he read catechism,
Jenny slurped down his jizm.
Won't confess it, though - he made her swear.
When the priest sought a sexy affair.
While he read catechism,
Jenny slurped down his jizm.
Won't confess it, though - he made her swear.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Eager
He revealed his small dick with unease.
The result of a childhood disease.
This in no way affects
His desire for great sex.
He would bend over backwards to please.
The result of a childhood disease.
This in no way affects
His desire for great sex.
He would bend over backwards to please.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Deep Space
I would buy you the moon and the stars.
Build a rocket and fly you to Mars.
If your trust I could earn,
There's just one thing I yearn:
Thrust my penis balls-deep in your arse.
From the Anal Series.
Build a rocket and fly you to Mars.
If your trust I could earn,
There's just one thing I yearn:
Thrust my penis balls-deep in your arse.
From the Anal Series.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Heavy Petting
Jenny's pulled her most wild stunt yet.
She's adopted this odd hybrid pet.
He's half penis, half swine.
But they get along fine.
She pets him. He gets hard. She gets wet.
She's adopted this odd hybrid pet.
He's half penis, half swine.
But they get along fine.
She pets him. He gets hard. She gets wet.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Morning Wood-Less
The morning I awake boner-free
Is a day I hope never to see.
It means Jenny has strayed
From my dreams, I'm afraid.
You sure won't want to be around me.
Is a day I hope never to see.
It means Jenny has strayed
From my dreams, I'm afraid.
You sure won't want to be around me.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Delicate
Jenny has such a delicate touch.
I so cherish her velvety clutch.
Firmly grasped, nails tease.
She know just how to please.
There's no wonder I love her so much.
From the Nails Series.
I so cherish her velvety clutch.
Firmly grasped, nails tease.
She know just how to please.
There's no wonder I love her so much.
From the Nails Series.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
The Son
Jenny's date was convinced he was Jesus.
King of Kings, dropped his robe and said "Please Us."
Her expert licking and humming,
Brought about The Second Coming.
"Hope My Father forgives when he sees us."
From the Date Series.
King of Kings, dropped his robe and said "Please Us."
Her expert licking and humming,
Brought about The Second Coming.
"Hope My Father forgives when he sees us."
From the Date Series.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Pool Party
Jenny's friends shed their pants at the pool.
She warned them they were breaking a rule.
Dicks erect, they all floated.
Each guy Jenny deep-throated.
To ignore even one would be cruel.
She warned them they were breaking a rule.
Dicks erect, they all floated.
Each guy Jenny deep-throated.
To ignore even one would be cruel.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Surprise
Just how much I'm in love would surprise you.
In so many ways I idealize you.
Your great beauty, blithe spirit...
Though you don't want to hear it:
I would love to gently sodomize you.
From the Anal Series.
In so many ways I idealize you.
Your great beauty, blithe spirit...
Though you don't want to hear it:
I would love to gently sodomize you.
From the Anal Series.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Extra Clean
Jenny has this incredible power.
I think of her when I'm in the shower.
All the while that I'm scrubbing,
My privates I'm rubbing.
That is why I am in there an hour.
I think of her when I'm in the shower.
All the while that I'm scrubbing,
My privates I'm rubbing.
That is why I am in there an hour.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Floor Please
With Jenny on an elevator.
She wanted me now and not later.
Her panties came down,
And my tongue went to town.
It's the fastest that I ever ate her.
She wanted me now and not later.
Her panties came down,
And my tongue went to town.
It's the fastest that I ever ate her.
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