Friday, August 24, 2012

Moved to tumblr!

Find the new Lusty Limericks blog on tumblr. A new naughty rhyme every day, most with salacious illustrations.

Follow Lusty Limericks on tumblr and get a sexy limerick on your dashboard every single day! See you there.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Lonely Lila

Lila waits, with a faraway stare.
When she picks up the phone, no one's there.
Lila's put on some weight...
Her one regular date
Is each morning when she fucks this chair.

Monday, July 30, 2012

AutoCum

Thinking of you I get so excited,
Even sitting alone, sparks ignited.
My cock springs into action,
And I get satisfaction,
Even though no one else was invited.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Tantalizing Tease

I would all my possessions bequeath,
Crown your head with a fresh floral wreath:
Show me your dazzling smile,
Every once in a while,
Gently tantalize me with your teeth.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Donation

I lay at the Red Cross giving blood.
When emotion took me like a flood.
Thoughts of Jenny made me
As erect as can be.
A cute nurse told me, "You're quite a stud!"

Friday, July 27, 2012

The Son

Jenny's date was convinced he was Jesus.
King of Kings, dropped his robe and said "Please Us."
Her expert licking and humming,
Brought about The Second Coming.
"Hope My Father forgives when he sees us."


From the Date Series.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Cozy Cock

When I walked in I found Jenny sitting.
Her hands briskly engaged - is that knitting?
She remembered my size...
I should give her a prize!
Keeps me warm, and it's so perfect fitting!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Unmistakable Cue

It seems Jenny enjoys when I lick her.
There is nothing that makes her come quicker.
When she cries, "Now! Now! Now!"
I give my solemn vow:
I'm delighted that Fate made me pick her.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Patriotic

Jenny's date was deeply patriotic.
His philosophy, though, was Quixotic.
For her, too right-wing,
But for one special thing:
His big flag pole she found quite erotic.


From the Date Series.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Twice

I aspire to reach climax twice daily.
This intent has become Holy Grail-y.
The way I have it planned:
In the morning, by hand.
And at night, with a woman - or gaily.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Early to Rise

This morning I am up very early.
Missing you, dear, has made my mood surly.
Loving you beyond belief.
Just one thing brings relief:
To kiss you where your hair's short and curly.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Dunce

Jenny's date only played with her once.
He was used to much skankier cunts.
He did nothing but gripe:
"You are just not my type."
Jenny's fans all think he's quite a dunce.


From the Date Series.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Angora

Jenny modeled the dress of Angora.
Fit and color were just perfect for her.
In it she looked so fine,
Her big boobs were divine.
She's the world's most wonderful whore - Ah!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Responsibility

If you knew how rock hard I became.
And know you are the one that's to blame.
You'd say, "Dear, I believe you.
Come here, let me relieve you,"
Very soon I would scream out your name.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Twice

I aspire to reach climax twice daily.
This intent has become Holy Grail-y.
The way I have it planned:
In the morning, by hand.
And at night, with a woman - or gaily.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Champagne with a Twist

"Champagne Cocktail" was Jenny's request.
The waitress - brand new - did her best.
I found it expedient
To add my own ingredient.
Jenny loved it! To that I'll attest.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Gourdian Knot

He jerked off so much that he was bored.
Jenny's pleasures he could not afford.
This poor country bumpkin
Would not buy a pumpkin...
He resorted to fucking a gourd.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Accessory

I enjoy your bed most when we share it.
But when I have to leave, I can't bear it.
At the end, I like best
When I come on your chest,
And when you go out, you want to wear it.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Farmer

Jenny's date had a country boy's heart,
And a flair for the bucolic art.
Working hard on the farm,
His dick's long as her arm.
So he drives it around on this cart.


From the Date Series.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Stockholm

Jenny met a musician in Stockholm.
Inspired, he wrote her a rock poem.
She bent over a chair,
With her ass in the air,
And cried, "Yes!" as he drove his big cock home.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Oslomarka

Jenny wandered the forest, quite lost.
When she found something sprouting through moss.
Jenny thought it good luck,
And she wanted to fuck.
Soon this dick knew quite well who was boss!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Regal Reaction

Jenny played with the King, Sweden's ruler.
Incognito, but he couldn't fool her.
Her joy his tongue provoked,
But the bedsheets got soaked.
It turns out the old King's quite a drooler.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Fjord Focus

Of the grandeur that Norway affords,
Most spectacular are the Fjords.
Jenny found them quite striking,
And as much to her liking
As when her lovers duel with their swords.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

The Milky Way

Jenny's skin: white as snow, soft as silk.
She's top-rated among girls of her ilk.
On her bed I am kneeling,
As she strokes, what a feeling!
Soon I spatter her breasts with my milk.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Jean Reaction

Jenny bought me a new pair of jeans.
Lovely gift from this woman of means.
When she fondled my cock, it
Stuck out of my pocket.
Prompting one of our sexiest scenes.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Saved Up

Jenny's date confessed to her, through tears.
"I've been saving up for all these years."
She thought that he meant money...
Then he came - it was funny -
From her twat to her tits to her ears.


From the Date Series.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Crazed

He had fucked her in so many ways, he
Had grown old and soft, fat and lazy.
But she just would not stop
Until she made him pop.
For sucking cock she was plain crazy.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Speedy

Several times when we've played in the past,
Jenny's mouth made me come much too fast.
So this time I have planned,
To relieve things by hand.
So my good times with Jenny will last.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Clean and Smooth

For six weeks now I scrimped and I saved.
Bribing Jenny to be cleanly shaved.
With her fresh manicure,
Touching holds such allure.
It's a feeling I've forever craved.


From the Nails Series.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Love on the Court

At our mansion we love playing tennis.
Her strong backhand makes Jenny a menace.
She beats me on the court,
But I'm pleased to report,
That I win when she sucks my big pennis!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Tub Strip

In the tub, nearly nude, Jenny sits.
Her blonde beauty is giving me fits.
With a wink and a flirt,
She strips off her t-shirt,
And shows off her spectacular tits.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Beatnik

Jenny's beatnik date called himself "Daddy-O."
She made him smoke his weed on the patio.
In his honor, she's bra-less;
Her big boobs still look flawless.
Jenny loved giving him cool fellatio.


From the Date Series.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Commitment

It's a certainty: each guy that calls for you,
Once he samples your charms, then he falls for you.
Now my unrivaled passion
Makes me ask in this fashion:
So does anyone else shave his balls for you?

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Constrained

Circumstances just now might constrain me,
Only you can know how that does pain me.
You set my soul on fire...
Charged with lust and desire.
See? My boxers can hardly contain me.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Seeing It Through

Jenny's date was a sad, single parent.
Lonely and horny, both traits inherent.
He showed Jenny this pic,
Which displays his big dick,
And his gal-friend: though she's quite transparent.


From the Date Series.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Windowsill

As we stood by the window to talk,
Jenny couldn't help stroking my cock.
Posing there, by the sill,
She gave me such a thrill.
I'm sure they heard me yell down the block.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Reciprocation

Darling Jenny, my precious, my sweet,
Being with you's a wonderful treat.
We'll lie in your bed,
And while you give me head,
Your delectable pussy I'll eat.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Aggressive

Her lust drove her to this aggression,
Treating him like he was her possession.
He feared he might be raped.
Look: his dick has escaped!
Just the start of a hot fucking session.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Sits

When on my face dear Jenny sits,
I love gazing up at her tits.
My hands tease each nipple,
As she orgasms triple.
That sweet taste on my tongue is her clit's.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Holy Cummunion

Sister Jenny was kneeling for prayer,
When the priest sought a sexy affair.
While he read catechism,
Jenny slurped down his jizm.
Won't confess it, though - he made her swear.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Eager

He revealed his small dick with unease.
The result of a childhood disease.
This in no way affects
His desire for great sex.
He would bend over backwards to please.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Deep Space

I would buy you the moon and the stars.
Build a rocket and fly you to Mars.
If your trust I could earn,
There's just one thing I yearn:
Thrust my penis balls-deep in your arse.


From the Anal Series.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Heavy Petting

Jenny's pulled her most wild stunt yet.
She's adopted this odd hybrid pet.
He's half penis, half swine.
But they get along fine.
She pets him. He gets hard. She gets wet.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Morning Wood-Less

The morning I awake boner-free
Is a day I hope never to see.
It means Jenny has strayed
From my dreams, I'm afraid.
You sure won't want to be around me.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Delicate

Jenny has such a delicate touch.
I so cherish her velvety clutch.
Firmly grasped, nails tease.
She know just how to please.
There's no wonder I love her so much.


From the Nails Series.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Bling

Merriment in my heart would be rife,
If dear Jenny was my "trophy wife."
Formal nights would be dandy
With her as my arm candy.
I'd be happy the rest of my life.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

The Son

Jenny's date was convinced he was Jesus.
King of Kings, dropped his robe and said "Please Us."
Her expert licking and humming,
Brought about The Second Coming.
"Hope My Father forgives when he sees us."


From the Date Series.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Pool Party

Jenny's friends shed their pants at the pool.
She warned them they were breaking a rule.
Dicks erect, they all floated.
Each guy Jenny deep-throated.
To ignore even one would be cruel.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Surprise

Just how much I'm in love would surprise you.
In so many ways I idealize you.
Your great beauty, blithe spirit...
Though you don't want to hear it:
I would love to gently sodomize you.


From the Anal Series.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Extra Clean

Jenny has this incredible power.
I think of her when I'm in the shower.
All the while that I'm scrubbing,
My privates I'm rubbing.
That is why I am in there an hour.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Floor Please

With Jenny on an elevator.
She wanted me now and not later.
Her panties came down,
And my tongue went to town.
It's the fastest that I ever ate her.