Fast asleep, in your bed, early morning.
Suddenly he's aroused, without warning.
Though I'm asleep, he's alert
And quite ready to squirt.
Your attention to him's habit-forming.
Limericks and erotic fiction. Fantasy and fun for the connoisseur of fine erotica... and just plain silly horny humor.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Punk
Jenny's date, a valet-service punk.
Sneering, pleaded to park in her trunk.
Denied that (what a jerk!),
Jenny went right to work.
He oozed out a mere dribble of spunk.
From the Date Series.
Sneering, pleaded to park in her trunk.
Denied that (what a jerk!),
Jenny went right to work.
He oozed out a mere dribble of spunk.
From the Date Series.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Tongue Lashing
It will take time for my tongue to heal.
Hope you'll like the way it makes you feel.
If it's just a bit longer,
And sensations are stronger,
We will seek your orgasmic ideal.
Hope you'll like the way it makes you feel.
If it's just a bit longer,
And sensations are stronger,
We will seek your orgasmic ideal.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Fastidious
I found Jenny home cleaning her oven.
On her knees, giving it a good scrubbin'.
Not believing my eyes...
Got behind her - surprise!
It's the perfect position for lovin'.
On her knees, giving it a good scrubbin'.
Not believing my eyes...
Got behind her - surprise!
It's the perfect position for lovin'.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Relief Emission
When my spouse can no longer believe me,
And sees no remedy but to leave me,
While my heart won't be breaking,
My poor balls will be aching.
I hope Jenny is there to relieve me.
And sees no remedy but to leave me,
While my heart won't be breaking,
My poor balls will be aching.
I hope Jenny is there to relieve me.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Unfortunate Encounter
Two of Jenny's dates have meet under discouraging circumstances:
Bill had gone past the end of his hour,
When Larry came to take a shower.
Larry thought, "It's not fair!"
"There's no way I compare..."
Leaving him in a mood that was sour.
Bill had gone past the end of his hour,
When Larry came to take a shower.
Larry thought, "It's not fair!"
"There's no way I compare..."
Leaving him in a mood that was sour.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Old Faithful
Though I've never been an early riser,
Ventured to Jenny's bed to surprise her.
First a loving embrace.
Then while I kissed her face,
She stroked me to erupt like a geyser.
Ventured to Jenny's bed to surprise her.
First a loving embrace.
Then while I kissed her face,
She stroked me to erupt like a geyser.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Bas Relief
Jenny's date had left nothing to chance.
He met her in the park in tight pants.
He'd been caught in the rain,
Which made one thing quite plain:
He had called her to fuck, not to dance.
From the Date Series.
He met her in the park in tight pants.
He'd been caught in the rain,
Which made one thing quite plain:
He had called her to fuck, not to dance.
From the Date Series.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Circle of Fun
Jenny's friends one night did something crazy:
Formed this oral-sex chain... like a Daisy.
Stopping by after work, I'll
Confess I joined the circle.
As to who pleasured whom - that part's hazy.
Formed this oral-sex chain... like a Daisy.
Stopping by after work, I'll
Confess I joined the circle.
As to who pleasured whom - that part's hazy.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Obelisk
All those prudes out there, clucking, "Tsk, Tsk!"
As she loves my phallic obelisk.
What they don't understand:
She makes me feel so grand.
For her love everything I would risk.
As she loves my phallic obelisk.
What they don't understand:
She makes me feel so grand.
For her love everything I would risk.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Chastity No Boner
Every time that I must go away,
Jenny wants to make sure I don't play.
She secures my poor cock,
Steel cage and brass lock.
Makes it tough to get past TSA.
Jenny wants to make sure I don't play.
She secures my poor cock,
Steel cage and brass lock.
Makes it tough to get past TSA.
Monday, March 19, 2012
No Holding Back
All my self-control I have exerted.
And I hope you won't think me perverted.
Here's my horny request:
I won't get any rest
'Till all over your chin I have squirted.
And I hope you won't think me perverted.
Here's my horny request:
I won't get any rest
'Till all over your chin I have squirted.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Bath Bliss
Sat and watched as my love took a shower.
Nude and wet, I could stare for an hour.
When she stretched where she stood,
My cock grew hard as wood.
Then I fucked her with unbridled power.
Nude and wet, I could stare for an hour.
When she stretched where she stood,
My cock grew hard as wood.
Then I fucked her with unbridled power.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
At The Beep
Jenny's screening her Caller ID.
She won't answer when she sees it's me.
So a message I'll leave her...
Saying I crave her beaver.
Is that crude? I'll just wait here and see.
She won't answer when she sees it's me.
So a message I'll leave her...
Saying I crave her beaver.
Is that crude? I'll just wait here and see.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Artist
Jenny's date was a talented artist.
Among all her men, he was the smartest.
He was clever, creative
In her bed: innovative!
And his penis was - by far - the hardest.
From the Date Series.
Among all her men, he was the smartest.
He was clever, creative
In her bed: innovative!
And his penis was - by far - the hardest.
From the Date Series.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Forbidden Fruit
When they met in the Garden of Eden,
Things got hot at that very first meeting.
Though the fruit was forbidden,
The truth cannot be hidden:
That's Eve's pussy that Adam is eating.
Things got hot at that very first meeting.
Though the fruit was forbidden,
The truth cannot be hidden:
That's Eve's pussy that Adam is eating.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Swing Shift
Jenny's phone is now constantly ringing.
The attention her new boobs are bringing.
We caused quite a commotion.
With my hard-fucking motion,
We sure got those big beauties a-swinging!
The attention her new boobs are bringing.
We caused quite a commotion.
With my hard-fucking motion,
We sure got those big beauties a-swinging!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Boxers Beat Briefs
I always wore briefs, as a rule.
But now boxers feel sexy and cool.
While I love when you flatter,
I know it doesn't matter...
Long as you get your hands on my tool.
But now boxers feel sexy and cool.
While I love when you flatter,
I know it doesn't matter...
Long as you get your hands on my tool.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Rare Solitaire
On those rare times when Jenny's alone,
She turns off the TV and the phone.
On her bed, nude, she'll lay.
Gentle strokes, she will play,
Softly whisper my name, and then moan.
She turns off the TV and the phone.
On her bed, nude, she'll lay.
Gentle strokes, she will play,
Softly whisper my name, and then moan.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Unmatched
Your rare beauty: no woman can match it.
The big hole in my heart: you did patch it.
You're so lovely before me...
Might you please do this for me?
If I jerk off right now, will you catch it?
The big hole in my heart: you did patch it.
You're so lovely before me...
Might you please do this for me?
If I jerk off right now, will you catch it?
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
Cowboy
While they fucked, Jenny's date kept his hat on.
Whooped "Yee-haw!" when his big dick she sat on.
Whistled "Home On the Range"
Which Jenny thought strange
When she found he was raised in Manhattan.
From the Date Series.
Whooped "Yee-haw!" when his big dick she sat on.
Whistled "Home On the Range"
Which Jenny thought strange
When she found he was raised in Manhattan.
From the Date Series.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Restraint
Jenny knows that I think she is super.
That is honest; I would never dupe her.
Even though I aspire to,
I'll resist the desire to
Slide my hard well-lubed dick up her pooper.
From the Anal Series.
That is honest; I would never dupe her.
Even though I aspire to,
I'll resist the desire to
Slide my hard well-lubed dick up her pooper.
From the Anal Series.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Artist's Model
For the camera my penis is posing.
You will like how he looks, he's supposing.
His composure is slipping.
With excitement he's dripping.
He is primed to give you a good hosing.
You will like how he looks, he's supposing.
His composure is slipping.
With excitement he's dripping.
He is primed to give you a good hosing.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Maroon
Jenny's nails are a gorgeous maroon.
From her touch I could not help but swoon.
As she often observes,
She stimulates my nerves.
It was hard not to come much too soon.
From the Nails Series.
From her touch I could not help but swoon.
As she often observes,
She stimulates my nerves.
It was hard not to come much too soon.
From the Nails Series.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Male Binding
Jenny bound up my hands and both feet.
Put a ring on my cock, very neat.
On my face she did squat,
My lips under her twat.
Then she ordered me, "Dear boy, now eat!"
Put a ring on my cock, very neat.
On my face she did squat,
My lips under her twat.
Then she ordered me, "Dear boy, now eat!"
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Have A Stroke
What I need right now is a good stroking.
I'm as hard as a rock -- I'm not joking!
Wrap your hands 'round my shaft.
Tug it hard, fore and aft.
Soon your big, brand-new breasts I'll be soaking.
I'm as hard as a rock -- I'm not joking!
Wrap your hands 'round my shaft.
Tug it hard, fore and aft.
Soon your big, brand-new breasts I'll be soaking.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Preemie
Jenny's date always came way too fast.
It occured every time in the past.
Just as she closed the door,
He shot cum on the floor.
Now her gentle touch helps make it last.
From the Date Series.
It occured every time in the past.
Just as she closed the door,
He shot cum on the floor.
Now her gentle touch helps make it last.
From the Date Series.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
What A Drag
Every day of this week seems to drag.
Feeling like a bad case of jet lag.
It cannot come too soon,
This Friday afternoon
When sweet Jenny and I get to shag.
Feeling like a bad case of jet lag.
It cannot come too soon,
This Friday afternoon
When sweet Jenny and I get to shag.
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